The birth story of Seb Alasdair Holder- Gilmour, 23/11/19
What better way to start my blog than to share my very own Hypnobirthing story with you. My Son Seb was the first of my wonderful Hypnobirthing experiences. Heres the story of my euphoric hypnobirth on PRH consultant ward:
I had struggled with pregnancy, sickness and migraines throughout the whole of my pregnancy and the 9 months were a rough ride of me puking on many of the roadsides and toilets across Shropshire and spending a lot of my time lying horizontal feeling awful.
Today I felt particularly fed up and emotional. My husband Dave had gone for drinks after work and I spent the evening sat in our front room watching birth videos and feeling very sorry for myself. It had been suggested to me that I could take an induction after 37 weeks because of the sickness and although I had been practicing hypnobirthing and had my mind set on natural birth, this was the closest I had come to thinking that it might be a good idea!
When Dave arrived home I remember bursting into tears and having a good sob on his shoulder about how hard everything felt. He gave me lots of loving cuddles and words of encouragement and we went up to bed around 11pm.
Just as we were settling down to sleep, my stomach made the strangest gurgling noise, I'd not heard or felt my body make anything like this before. He looked at me in shock and said “is that your tummy??” and as he did I felt a trickling of water leaking out. “Okay my waters are either breaking in or I'm wetting myself” I said. I went to the loo to explore, and confirmed that, (OMG) my waters had actually broken!
I got an immediate burst of excitement, we flapped around for a few minutes thinking about what we needed to do. He went down to check over the hospital bags whilst I had a nice bath and put my makeup on. We decided to call the hospital and let them know and they asked me to go in so they could check the waters. It was 12am now, I wasn't feeling any contractions and I just wanted to chill at home so we decided to decline for now and see what happened. I told Dave to try and get some sleep and seeing as he had had a few beers he didn't take much rocking.
By this point I had started to experience mild cramps, I would describe them a little bit like period pains, coming and going. I got into bed to get some rest too but I was unable to sleep through excitement. The cramps were getting a bit stronger now and they felt more intense with me just lying there focusing on them so I decided to go downstairs and put on some TV. I couldn't sit and I had the urge to potter around the house doing bits of cleaning, listening to music etc, so I did just that, and over the next couple of hours my surges got closer together and more intense. I remember thinking I should eat something to give myself some energy for later and managed a banana and a cup of coffee.
It was nice having time to myself to really take in the start of labour and the journey that lay ahead. When I felt like things were really hotting up at around 2am, I went and got my husband up and said we needed to go to the hospital.
The car journey was interesting. I remember kneeling on the front seat, hugging it and finding that the surges were super intense. I had my sunglasses on to try and block out the light, and earphones in to listen to my hypnobirthing audios.
We arrived at the hospital just after 3am, so so excited; we were like kids on Christmas morning. My husband went in to full geek mode and started doing video diaries, when my waters broke and then continuing throughout the labor. Sorry - these are not for the eyes of anyone but us, we love them but they’re incredibly cringe!
We were taken to triage and into a bay, and I agreed to have a vaginal examination to see how dilated I was. I was told that I wasn't ready to go up to the labor ward, I was around 5 cm dilated and I remember being a bit put out because I was hoping to be a bit further along as contractions were strong. We didn't fancy staying in the busy bay so off we went for a stroll around the deserted hospital corridors. My husband gave me lots of support, loving touch and helping me breathe through each surge. After we had walked from one side of Telford hospital to the other, I decided that was enough and I needed to get back to the bed.
Everything started to feel intense again. I got into the bay and instinctively stripped down to underwear. I wanted to be in an all fours position now and I needed support from Dave to breathe through the surges. When the midwife came around to check me there was a “this girl needs to go straight up to the labour room”! We clarified that I didn't want any more vaginal examinations or any other unnecessary intervention. Our plan for this birth was for it to be completely physiological, unmedicated and with no unnecessary assistance.
Up on the consultant ward we arrived in a nice private room, Dave gave our notes and birth plan to the midwives, they straight away saw that we were Hypnobirthing and were really supportive of this and from there on pretty much left us to it. We turned the lights down, I had planned to listen to my hypnobirthing audios but Smooth FM was already playing on the radio and there were some real tunes being played, so we left that on and we were just left to sink into our birthing bubble.
I had wanted to use the pool for a water birth but it wasn't available. I remember wanting my husband to be close to me. I really needed to feel his support and I wanted him to help me with breathing techniques. We had a little system going where when a contraction arrived, I would squeeze his hand and then he would count me through the breathing and then just breathe with me. Having him close cuddling me, telling me how amazing I was doing, and being my spokesperson, communicating with the medical staff allowed me to really go in on myself, breathing, visualization and music were a perfect combo to take myself off somewhere else. I was managing surges really well and even though they were intense I was enjoying them. I felt very calm and serene, it was all lovely and I felt this intense connection to my husband.
Funny story for you; at some point he got the munchies and took himself off to find food.. I was so in my own world I barely noticed that he was gone or had come back again but as he was helping me with my breathing and breathing with me right into my face, I kept on noticing this funny smell, it was irritating me. Eventually I discovered that the funny smell was actually his breath following him eating some Chilli Beef flavored Hula Hoops. I must admit I did throw a little strop, shouting at him that his breath stank and to brush his teeth. When he came back I was in tears saying I'm sorry. The midwives thought it was hilarious and we laugh a lot about Hula Hoop breath now.
I wanted to get on the birthing ball and sat there rolling my hips and bouncing. I was facing Dave with my hands wrapped around him with my head in his lap. At this stage I don't really know where I was but I was not in the room with him or the midwives, I felt completely away in my own world, I guess this is what they call the birthing bubble and let me tell you it was delightful in there! I felt like I was high as a kite, the greatest buzz of my whole life. I know my eyes were rolling back in my head because Dave kept on checking if I was ok, it must have looked horrendous but I felt amazing.
I could have happily stayed there forever but all of a sudden I came to and suddenly felt like I needed to go to the toilet. I got up to walk to the loo but it felt too hard. I got Dave to help me there, then began to panic that I needed a poo but I didn't want him to leave me. I remember saying to him, “Oh my god, will you still love me if you see me poo?” As soon as I sat on the toilet I got this powerful bearing down feeling and an uncontrollable pushing feeling came over my whole body, I remember vocalizing that with some sort of mooing sound and Dave's face looking shocked. I knew this was baby coming, I could remember it from last time and could feel it moving down. Dave rang the bell for midwives whilst I waddled over to the bed and it all became a bit hectic for a few minutes.
I started to panic saying “omg I don't know if I can do this and I feel like I might need gas and air”. I climbed onto the bed getting on all fours. The pushing kept coming over me really fast and intensely. Dave tried to remind me how to do the birth breathing technique we learned in our hypnobirthing class but I couldn't manage it. The midwife said “She doesn't need to breathe, the heads here! On the next surge it will be out!”, and out it came!
I was now leaning over the top of the bed in an upright position with Dave in front of me, face to face, holding my head, supporting me and with a head stuck in between my legs. He popped round and looked at the head, I remember him saying that “there's an actual head poking out of your vagina”. Within minutes the whole body shot out with a very powerful surge. The fetal ejection reflex was in full force there.
This little baby dropped onto the bed beneath my legs and I will never forget that moment. A huge sense of relief as me and my husband stared in to each other's watery eyes, feeling full of love, pride and joy. It was a real WOW moment. I was so caught up in the moment I didn't even pick our baby up until the midwife prompted. I held them up to my chest, they looked so tiny and peaceful, they didn't cry at all. We just stayed there all staring at each other just like wow, look what we have done. It was literally the most incredible moment of my life. I will never forget how special that moment was. I felt this intense love for my baby and also my amazing husband and total euphoria. So much so we actually forgot to check if it was a boy or a girl, Dave announced we had a son. We had one of each, we were so lucky.
The midwives had to intervene at this point and get me to lie down as I'd started to bleed quite heavily. I ended up having a big pph, which wasn't nice but I was so wrapped up in my bubble of bliss it wasn't bothering me as it probably should have, and I was able to relax, stay calm just let the docs do their thing until they stopped it. Because of this, I had help to deliver the placenta. I did have to stay in hospital for the following day and night and although for me that wasn't an ideal end to an otherwise totally amazing experience I didnt let it affected my negatively. It didn't feel traumatized by the bleed; I was focused on the awesome birth experience and what I was holding in my arms. My husband was able to come back to the ward with me, I was feeling a bit drained of blood and energy by this point but the oxytocin soon came flooding back with lots of baby cuddles and special time with just the three of us, then the joy of telling my eldest daughter and the rest of the family we had a new member of the gang.
It was lovely that until that point it was only Dave and I that knew of our news. No one except us knew we were in labor and that felt special. This birth left me feeling like I wanted to do it all over again, proud of myself and totally in awe of my body and what a kick ass birth partner my husband was.
